23 September 2016

Overthinking is not good for you!

What goes on in our minds everyday as women!! Sheeesh we seriously have to watch our thoughts!!  Well I do....  Myr thoughts should be monitored, because most of the time they are worrying or stressing about things that are either out of our control or haven't even happened or will not happen.....ugh.  

Blaming the pregnancy hormones I have been a bit anxious this week as our baby girl starting moving quite a bit and I got super excited, so when she didn't move as much I started stressing like nothing else (which apparently is not good for you either ahem).   So I spent a couple nights this week just obsessing with my large tummy begging her to move.  She moved when she normally did when I was lying down sleeping around midnight and 5am but apparently I wanted MORE and made a special trip to go see my GP today to listen to baby girl's heartbeat.  Which was perfectly fine, strong and LOUD.  I knew somewhere in my gut that all was ok, so why didn't i listen to that and to the voice in my head that was making me super anxious.

After some happy tears (from Dr Z and myself) and a big hug I left the GP with a prescription for my asthma medication (because it is in a box somewhere after our move last week) and made me feel like I had a reason to go see my GP hey.... she said come everyday if you want and I will be more than happy to listen to her heartbeat!  Aww bless.  

So I am normal apparently. Being nearly 7 months pregnant I have connected with my little girl and of course I was going to worry if i had just an inkling of something could be wrong. 

So it was ok to worry a little (hah a lot) and so glad I went in and checked things out to be on the safe side and now I feel so much more relaxed and after the nice walk back from Hyde Park, I treated myself to a delicious beef burger (from Create cafe at the Powerhouse museum) and a banana milkshake - because they taste effing amazing & I am sure there is some goodness in the milk that will be absorbed by Jones Junior! You know calcium for strong bones and all that jazz......

So, happy mamma means happy bubba -  back to my yoga breathing and meditation each night to relax myself and control the thoughts, because they are not good for you.  I need more peace and calm in my body.  Trusting the gut is imperative and I would never ignore something major if it happened, but good to know that I have my gp on my side and a very supportive hubby who lets me just be me, all large, swollen, achy and hormonal and he still loves me! 

Winner winner chicken dinner.   



14 September 2016

Going with the flow!

Life surely is bizarre.  I am a big believer of everything happens at the right time and this year has been no exception.  Pregnant for the fourth time with our first viable pregnancy is bloody exciting, tiring, scary and effing amazing (all can be experienced in one day).  The last 26 weeks surely has been a roller coaster ride whilst growing our baby girl #jonesjnr, filled with interesting cravings, plenty of nanna naps, emotions, hormones and morning/afternoon/evening sickness.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

2016 started off with a new job, moving out from the EA space and moving into management. Was an exciting time, working for a fundraising company and had two staff reporting into me and was excited to be learning new skills and put my highly organised skills to the test to see how I could be the best Operations Manager I could possibly be.  Six months into the role, it was made redundant due to restructure. That is cool shite happens right, everything will work out and to be honest in hindsight probably was the best thing to happen as I am now working at the Powerhouse museum in a great EA role temporarily and I am feeling relaxed and less stressed than I was before, which can only be good when one is growing another human inside her hey? My gut told me it was the right thing, I learnt so much and I look forward to exploring that space again after the arrival of baby Jones.

We had talked about moving house when we found out we were pregnant back in April, then decided to stay put because we love our apartment and the area and were already so settled and coming up to four years in our place..... then the owners wanted to "pop-in" and have a look at the property.......................... alarm bells ringing please, you only do that if you want to SELL! Bingo two weeks later we were given 90 days - so a temporary job and having to find a new place whilst pregnant at 42, yes this is how I imagined my life in my 20's, haha, bring it.

So we have literally JUST moved, we found a great HOUSE with a backyard and NO stairs (why did I think stairs would be good at our old place hey, in denial I was) and I am just going with the flow.  Trying to pack up the house when nearly 7 months pregnant was not fun at all, so tiring and I was extremely frustrated at how LITTLE I could physically and mentally do.  Thank god my husband has taken it in his stride and just got things done, what a legend. Definitely won the lotto there peeps. I of course did the admin side of things with moving Foxtel, AGL, changing our addresses on bills and ensuring our first food shop is delivered to fill our fridge and pantry with food noms. Normally I would of unpacked the kitchen and gotten all my clothes organised - last night I ordered thai for dinner and made the bed (after sorting out the fur cat in the spare room). That was plenty and off to bed I went at 8:30pm!  Even today I am not overthinking what I need to do, just will see what I feel like doing.  What is going on! 

2015 taught me that shit happens and you just have to go with the flow the universe gives you. It has reminded me that yes change happens and it can lead to much better things, to never look back and ponder "what if" and to deal with the card you are being handed right this very second because you never know where it may lead you.    I have a feeling this will come in handy with a newborn also - as they aren't able to be project managed and organised!!  I look forward to see how that pans out in 3 months time!  

Less stress on oneself is important, lower expectations and just do what you can :) sometimes is the best approach. It feels good.


6 September 2016

Spring is here & a smoothie recipe to try!

If the sneezing hasn't alerted you, spring is here!  I do love this time of the year, when you don't feel the chill in the air most mornings/evenings and the sun feels so nice and warm, but not too hot on your skin. You can sleep with a window open a little and you may even think about swapping the duvet or your wardrobe over to summer attire (that might be getting a little ahead of myself), it is only day SIX! 

The food we consume changes as the months get warmer, swapping stodgy warm comforting meals for more fresh fruits, salads, smoothies.  I feel like my body craves foods it hasn't eaten since last spring! My current craving is watermelon! I cannot get enough :) I have it with yoghurt, on it's own, in smoothies, delish!  So refreshing and the daily weather hasn't even gone about 22 degrees yet for more than a day at a time! 

I look forward to sharing some spring recipes I have been wanting to try and some other nutritious yummy healthy foods as the month gets warmer!

Normally I would be excited to exercise more outdoors and start planning all the fabulous walks/runs that Sydney has to offer during the warmer months, but with baby Jones due in 3 months time I am intrigued to see how the warmer weather treats my body & mind in the coming weeks.  I am excited the outdoor pools are now open so I can transfer my swimming from inside pools to the great feeling of an outdoor pool.  Ahhh. I have my maternity bathers at the ready!  Walking will be more an earlier task than later due to the warmer weather and carrying around a watermelon shaped tummy!

Looking forward to more beach walks and yoga classes outdoors as bump gets bigger and I ensure I keep my body moving to help with the arrival of Baby Jones. 

Here is a recipe that I am super keen to try - sounds delish!







2 September 2016

#ilovebeingpregnant

#ilovebeingpregnant is my hashtag for today – I jokingly say this when I am tired, cranky, moody and just want to go home and curl up in the foetal position, eat something with cheese in it and watch trashy tv,  I am loving being pregnant nonetheless just having a loooong day/week. 

I have joined a couple Facebook pregnancy forums and they are fantastic for asking those questions that you don’t want to trouble your partner or others with and everyone has a good chat, says their opinions and you all don’t care as you are all fat, hormonal and in the same boat.  Bizarre club to be in, but loving it all the same. 

The one main thing I have noticed creeps into the discussions all the time is weight gain & weight loss in pregnancy (oh I havent gained anything this pregnancy and am so happy etc).  I thought since we are growing another human inside us “most” of us wouldn’t be too worried about the weight gain, especially for those who are having second or third children, but there is still that bloody stigma attached to “how much weight” is being gained in the pregnancy and when baby is born time to drop the “baby weight”.    I feel this is a very unhealthy state of mind, so much attached to getting back to your perfect body after baby - you have just grown a full size person in there.... what do you expect?

There is definitely a healthy weight gain in pregnancy and unhealthy range for sure – but I feel some are trying to drop weight whilst they are pregnant which is just dumbfounding me.  Unless you are cranking it on the scales, risking gestational diabetes etcand eating like nothing else, than let your body just do its thing.  There is eating well when pregnant but also just eating what gets you through the days sometimes is OK! 

I understand that your body is now not entirely your own to do as you please – I get that and some ladies feel like they aren't ready to make the changes with eating and exercising etc! My body  has changed so much it is amazing, I am in awe of the way my boobs have gone from a small C to nearly a DD and how my hips and waist have totally expanded to grow our little girl.  I still feel so blessed to be carrying our child and I really am not thinking too much about the weight gain side of things or making sure I eat super “clean” all the time.  When you are feeling nauseous trust me the last thing you want is broccoli or something healthy, you want toast and you want it NOW!!  Salty chips from McDonald’s for about five weeks I needed at least twice a week to keep my afternoon sickness at bay. 

I have for the first time in my life EVER reached triple digits on the scales and am not an obsessed diet/exercise mess.  I am probably the calmest ever about my weight.  I feel (majority of the time) healthy and happy, despite some aches and pains that are associated with growing a mini me, I am feeling content being 101.5kgs. I am very happy with the 6kgs I have put on in 24 weeks, baby is right on target growth wise.

 I don’t know if it is the fact that I put on most of the weight last year after suffering three miscarriages and my body went through something I would never wish upon anyone, hormones and depression, this led me to go from a healthy 78-81kgs to 94kgs when I got pregnant this time is the reason why I am not letting myself get too obsessed with crazy diets.  I was tired, lethargic and couldn’t imagine going to the gym after my third loss and majority of that was the depression and feeling so empty and lost. I was in a dark place and just wanted to hide away from the world.  Having a few months off not trying was great, I got back into swimming, walking and yoga and then Easter weekend fell pregnant with our little #jonesjnr.  I was probably the strongest mentally I have been in a very, very long time. Obsessing about weight is time consuming and draining.  I had come to terms with the fact I was heavier than I had been and that is ok.

I will say I admire those who have the energy to keep going to the gym and training throughout their pregnancy as I have definitely relaxed in that department and I do wish that I could have gotten to a lighter weight before getting pregnant again, but here we are. I love my bump. I love that my body can grow a person and just as I thought I would, am enjoying being pregnant. 

The posts on the Facebook group made me realise just how content I am.  My eating habits have changed so much and I don’t have to stress or think about what I am eating, I am just enjoying eating a range of foods and exercising daily.  Some days I walk for over an hour, I have gotten back into doing yoga a couple times a week and LOVING the swimming pool.   

 I look forward to continuing this healthy journey through the rest of my pregnancy and into motherhood.


2 August 2016

20 weeks today!!

Had my 20 week check up with one of the Doctors at the Royal Hospital for Women - I am able to go back to my midwife for the next appointments, yay!! No concerns from the doctor (who reminded me so much of Nina from Offspring). Heard the heartbeat today which still amazes me! Cannot wait for our little girl to start kicking me!

140 days to go apparently until my little bundle is due to arrive and meet us.  To get this far in the pregnancy is truly amazing, it is everything I thought it would be and I am loving my bump so much.  Even during the nausea, afternoon sickness, all day heartburn phase I was so happy. I would feel miserable but have a smile on my face (most of the time anyways). Because those signs meant I was having a healthy pregnancy.

We have had five scans to date. The first one was at 8 weeks as my doctor (god love her) was paranoid about how things were going after our three miscarriages last year.  When she suggested getting a scan I thought it would be a good idea to ease my mind also.  We had decided not to tell anyone, not even family, until we saw a heartbeat on the scan.  Well I saw a heartbeat at the 8 week scan, and we had another one booked for the week/10 days after so Drew could see the heartbeat also, was so amazing to see the little flicker of life.  We had quite a harsh Russian sonographer who was not happy at all that I was getting another scan in such a short timeframe as she was concerned I wouldn’t see anything else due to the scan the week before, once I told her it was purely so Drew could see the heartbeat she had a big grin on her face and showed us the flickering signs of life.

Then we continued on with normal scans at 12, 16 & 20 weeks.  NIPT testing at 16 weeks (for Down syndrome and chromosome testing which included finding out the sex of our little girl), all came back good.  Morphology scan at 19 weeks (for 20 weeks) to check the heart, brain, lungs, limbs, spine & kidneys etc, a very thorough scan and it was truly unbelievable to see the valves in the heart working, all four chambers were perfect.   Love that our sonographer showed us everything as she checked our little girl, still love that sonographer (told her I loved her at my 16 week scan) am sure I am not the first to do so.  I just loved how the sonographer would give our little girl a nudge to move her into the position she needed her to be in to complete her checks.

Nothing prepares you for seeing that little bundle up on the screen.  To see her all comfy and moving her arms and legs around, we cry every time.  It is just so beautiful to see our little creation and I still find it hard to believe she is inside me, even with my protruding bump!  We are waiting ever so patiently to feel our little girl’s first kicks, I cannot believe I am waiting to feel something kick me from inside!  I have felt small flutters and movement but nothing that can be felt by touching by belly. 

We have enjoyed sharing our baby news on social media with a little “Coming Soon” piccie and a few scan piccies too:

13 week scan

18 week bump shot

19 week ultrasound scan

 Our announcement on Instagram/Facebook






26 January 2016

Happy Australia Day!!

A gorgeous day  today in Sydney after the weather people reported this week would be rain, rain & rain.  It was a warm day and the sun came out to play!
Enjoyed a quiet day staying local and not heading anywhere that would be totally packed.  A nice late lunch in Redfern, which ended up being a great choice.as the Rabbitohs were training and we got to see the Burgess brothers stay back and talk to fans/sign kids shirts! Gorgeous boys they are #swoon
After a slight wander in Redfern we drove to our favourite beach, Coogee for a little stroll along the beach and home to have a #gaytime icecream and chillax!!  Perfect Australia Day 2016.

Brave today.....

Sometimes being brave isn’t really being brave but actually pretending you are ok. I thought I was being brave this week and turns out I was holding it all in.

Pretending to be ok and knowing that deep down I was an emotional mess.   As a wise friend told me the other night over Japanese food the baby angels are “part of me now, you will always be a part of their memory” he said it in a much better way but it is true, they are part of my life, our life and memory, and some days are going to be tougher than others.  I thought if I didn’t consciously see or think of all the babies or pregnant women everywhere around me I would be ok.  Today I am feeling so very empty.

We have had a few friends/colleagues recently celebrate pregnancy milestones and newborn cute little babies and I just feel that I have nothing to share or say, I just smile and say “congratulations” but it feels so fake, I can feel my fake face. It is so hard as I feel like my voice just wants to hide (and those who know me KNOW I have a voice)! I am happy for them on some level and I know some have had a hard journey too to be parents.

I know life continues on after loss and I know I am every so very grateful for everything I have in my life, but today I just feel a little lost and unsure.  I have seen so many cute sets of baby feet hanging out of prams or baby holders and I just smile and then wonder if that will be me one day. 

Thinking about my little angels today and hope they are somewhere on a cloud happy and know that I love and miss them. Would of been 12 weeks today with angel No3 #BG